Side-Bends/Lateral Flexion…is there rotation, too?

Doesn’t it feel like you want to either rotate/twist your pelvis or spine when you go into a side-bend? Doesn’t it? Side Sit Ups, Mermaid, Side Bends… There you are on the Cadillac doing Kneeling Mermaid and either your pelvis wants to rotate back on the side you’re bending towards or your spine wants to rotate up. And our teachers put their hands-on and cue us to stay flat forward…but you can’t! What is going on?! What is wrong with you?!?!?

Maybe something is wrong with you, but it’s not that!
All side-bends/lateral flexion have built in rotation!
Yes. It’s true! Harrison Fryette, a doctor of osteopathic medicine established this in 1918. We have 3 laws or principles that we call Freyette’s Laws (or Fryette’s Principles) Well, the first 2 of the 3 laws or principles were from Fryette. The 3rd is from another doctor of osteopathic medicine: C.R. Nelson in 1948. And since 1918 and 1948 we even have a bit more information to add to these principles of spinal movement.

What are they?
I’m so glad you asked!

Plainly put and straight out of Wikipedia because they are very clear with their words here:

  1. Principle I: When the spine is in neutral, sidebending to one side will be accompanied by horizontal rotation to the opposite side. This law is observed in type I somatic dysfunction, where more than one vertebra is out of alignment and cannot be returned to neutral by flexion or extension of the vertebrae. The involved group of vertebrae demonstrates a coupled relationship between sidebending and rotation. When the spine is neutral, side bending forces are applied to a group of typical vertebrae and the entire group will rotate toward the opposite side: the side of produced convexity. Extreme type I dysfunction is similar to scoliosis.
  2. Principle II: When the spine is in a flexed or extended position (non-neutral), sidebending to one side will be accompanied by rotation to the same side. This law is observed in type II somatic dysfunction, where only one vertebral segment is restricted in motion and becomes much worse on flexion or extension. There will be rotation and side-bending in the same direction when this dysfunction is present.
  3. Principle III: When motion is introduced in one plane it will modify (reduce) motion in the other two planes. The third principle sums up the other two laws by stating dysfunction in one plane will negatively affect all other planes of motion.

Here is a video of me explaining this:

Here is a good video, by Educated PT, that explains showing the bones:

This is all called “coupled movement” of the spine. “Coupled movement”: when one movement happens, the other automatically happens, as well! We have lots of this in our bodies…very efficient!

How does this apply to your Pilates (or other movement/exercise modalities):

First – It’s normal to rotate in side bending! You don’t try to do it, you just let it happen!

Next – That means you cue your clients to square their pelvises, lift their spines (seek to decompress the spine from the bottom to the top…all the work we do in The Vertical Workshop, of course) and if you see a slight rotation in the appropriate direction, you allow it!

There are many videos of teachers teaching side-bends of one type or another on the baby/arm chair. I hear cues of keeping your entire spine along the chair back…and not twisting. However, Freyette’s Laws let us know that this is poor cueing. Just a lack of education on the human body.

What? Some of you knew about Freyette’s Laws and still have been teaching to de-rotate during lateral flexion/side-bending? Don’t be ashamed. You are normal. However, it’s time to work to apply the evidence-based information that you have to your Pilates or other fitness work. I see this in Pilates and other modalities all of the time. People who are physiotherapists and they don’t apply their physiology and kinesiology knowledge to Pilates. Pilates does not work in some other universe. Different physical laws do not take over while doing Pilates. In fact, this is why Pilates is often troublesome for our clients and more troublesome for the teachers who are often doing very illogical small and big movement more than clients do.

If you find that your work in Pilates contradicts what you learned in scientific studies you’ve had…consider apply the scientific work to your Pilates work. it doesn’t work the other way around. Also; however, we must consider, some things you’ve learned in scientific education is now old information. Scientists (myself included) seek to not only discover new things, but see if new analytic devices and information either support old studies and information or inform us that old information needs to be revised. One great example is the obsession with static stretching. Old information told us that this was good. New information tells us a very different story. (Yes, you can learn all about that in my Stretching Workshop here: ) Another example is about pelvic floor and transverse abdominis connection. New information has been out, but it takes time to trickle to practitioners. I try to give new information as soon as it is available. (Yes you can find my Diastasis Recti and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Workshop at that same link:

OK…Applying Freyette’s Laws!

  1. Principle I: When the spine is in neutral, sidebending to one side will be accompanied by horizontal rotation to the opposite side.

    I hate the term neutral spine because there is no neutral spine. However, saying the spine is neutral means that the pelvis is neutral (that’s a real thing that nearly everyone can achieve. It’s a specific position when the hip points/ASIS and pubic bone are level with each other in the coronal plane)…the pelvis is neutral and your spine is in its natural upright curves associated with your neutral pelvis. It’s slightly different for everyone and on different days.

    OK…now that I got that out of the way:

    When your pelvis is neutral and your spine is in it’s natural curves, when you side-bend, your thoracic and lumbar spines will rotate/twist in the opposite direction of the way your are side-bending. So, if you are standing or sitting upright right now, if you bend your entire spine to the right, your spine will twist a tiny bit to the left which means a bit toward the ceiling. If you find you are twisting to the floor or toward the side you’re bending towards, then either your have a scoliosis or you are collapsing or your pelvis rotated.

    Yes…you can try to keep your spine straight forward, but your pelvis will rotate! The side of your pelvis/hip that you’re side-bending towards will rotate backwards to the wall behind you.

    Now, this applies to the thoracic and lumbar spines only. The cervical spine (neck) is Principle II just below…

2. Principle II: When the spine is in a flexed or extended position (non-neutral), sidebending to one side will be accompanied by rotation to the same side.

If you round your spine lightly forward from where you are and then try to side-bend…you’ll find that you ever-so- slightly naturally rotate in the direction of the side you are side-bending towards. So if you round forward and then sideband to the right, your spine will twist toward the right and to the floor a bit.

Totally normal.

The cervical spine/neck when side-bending rotates in the same direction of the side-bend. “Always.” (in quotes because we know there are exceptions to every rule. Perhaps someone with an interesting set of conditions actually rotates in the opposite direction…that would be a considerable difference from “normal” of the facet joints.

3. Principle III: When motion is introduced in one plane it will modify (reduce) motion in the other two planes.

That means, you can’t do two moves in two different planes as well as you can do one move in one plane. If you round forward and then twist, neither the forward flexion nor the rotation will be as “good’ and complete as if you just did one. The Saw in Pilates is a great example. You twist and then round forward and…well, your twist was so good when you started and thens tarts to disintegrate! You did a great round on Spine Stretch Forward (clearly The Saw is the twisted/rotated version of Spine Stretch Forward…same exercise but with a twist), but now that you’re both rounding and twisting in The Saw, your round is not so good! Well…that’s Principle III, my colleagues!

Now, I’ll state again, it’s not that you are trying to rotate during side-bends…it’s just that this naturally happens. We must allow these natural occurrences so that our joints and muscles and other soft tissues stay healthy. When we work against that, we create inappropriate compression and sheer forces that are degrading to the joints and other tissues.

Again, check out this little video I created explaining Fryette’s Laws:

Chew on that for a while! It’s good stuff! Important stuff!

And…no shame if you were doing something different. When you learn new things, you think about them, consider strongly and then edit your teaching and movement. We all learn new things all of the time. Yup! Your responsibility is to adapt! Adaptation is one of the greatest human tools! Use it! No blind acceptance…all critical thinking! So…take time to think about what I’ve shared here. Look it up all over the place! Then…apply and enjoy the benefits of growth!

And…give a holler below or email me if you need. I am happy to answer questions and do consultations aside from sessions, classes/workouts, workshops/seminars and all the rest!

– Shari

July 23, 2021 at 5:20 pm 6 comments

Pilates and Independence


What is Independence? Ooh! That’s heavy! Much more than this blog can support, but…maybe a question or thought within our Pilates world? Yes…that would be better.

Today is Independence Day in The United States of America. I am always one to consider what that word means on this day in general and in Pilates. In 2010, 2012 and 2017, I wrote blogs on this subject: Independence: It’s fundamental to Pilates!, Independence Through Pilates… and Independence by toeing the line… It’s time for a new one!

Critical Thinking vs. Blind Acceptance

What if Independence in Pilates has something to do with critical thinking? What if blind acceptance is a sort of wall that locks you in from growth and self-discovery? If you think these things (growth and self-discovery) are of value, then you might consider: what way of thinking, not just doing Pilates, but what way of thinking about Pilates, movement and teaching helps you achieve your deeper teaching goals; the goals beyond filling your schedule and getting in good workouts?

Many Pilates teachers confide in me that they are at the end of their lifespan teaching Pilates. They are bored with it and don’t really understand what they are doing. They work hard and feel no reward. What I end up learning from these lovely teachers is that they are so dissatisfied because of that fact: they don’t really understand what they are doing and why.

That was the key word: “why”!

The answer to the question “Why?” is never “Because.” That is what I was taught when I was a little girl. I was really dumbfounded when my mother started saying, strongly, I might add, “‘Because’ is not an answer!” At 4 years old, “Because” seemed like a perfectly great answer to me! But suddenly…suddenly I had to think: “Why? Really…Why?” Ohhh, my gut was tight (and not from Pilates)! I was so concerned about having to think in that moment. I was 4!!! But, boy, was that the right lesson!

The answer to “Why?” is never “Because.”

Also, the answer to “Why?” is never “Because that’s the way we have always done it.”
“Because that’s the way Romana did it.”
“Because that’s the way we do it in (xyz) program.”
“Because I was told to do it this way.”

All of those are passive.
All of those are Blind Acceptance. Blind Acceptance means you’re just parroting what your teachers said. Nothing more. Just a bunch of minions doing mindless work. And that, my colleagues, is why you are bored and not-excited by your teaching.

I firmly disagree with a bit of a trendy statement going around social media these days. It’s something akin to “Do what Joseph Pilates did. A good teacher doesn’t think.” Something like that. That’s the gist of it.
What a bizarre and lazy statement! That’s encouraging blind acceptance! If you’re bored with your work and confused…that’s exactly why! You are likely blindly following someone! And those people are encouraging it.

And I say:
Absolutely not!

The answer to “Why?” looks/sounds something more like:
“Because though I was taught this first way, I learned more about the (xyz) and now know it’s this way.”
“Because I thought about it for a long time and realized: there is no way that you can do (xyz) and claim to be safe. So, I asked a biomechanist what really happens in the (insert body part here).”
“Because this way is how people learn.”

“Because”…must always be followed up with information. Real information that can hold up to scrutiny! When you live a life of critical thinking vs a life of blind acceptance, you develop a true internal freedom! True internal independence! And that, my colleagues, brings pride in the work you do! You have freed your mind!

Imitate, Assimilate, Innovate

Do we sometimes parrot what we’ve been taught? Sure! When we’re new at something (like new to teaching), we parrot. I know that I certainly did. That’s part of the learning experience:

Everyone will imitate
Most people will assimilate
Very few will innovate.

That is normal.
However, what if our teachers encouraged us to always question and receive sincere answers? Ooooh…now “imitate, assimilate, innovate” is emboldened with: belief in what you’re doing because you have dug in below the surface! Now, it’s emboldened with: be a conscious teacher sharing information you have truly thought about! Now, it’s emboldened…period!

And you have shared…

Some people share with me that they don’t ask their teachers questions because they don’t want to insult. I do understand…however: if a question insults your teacher, then your teacher has no business teaching. A true teacher encourages questions and both has many evidence-supported answers as well as the self-confidence to search for answers that are unknown to the teacher at the time. There is strength in being able to say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but let’s find out!”

Some people share with me that they have been attacked by their teachers for asking questions. That person, too, has no business being a teacher. A real teacher knows that students have questions, welcomes those questions and provides answers to those questions.

Some people share with me that they think their question might be dumb or that they should know the answer so they’ve never asked. To that person, I say, “thank you for sharing this with me! Now, let’s dig in and answer your question! You deserve answers! And…no question is a dumb question.”

Some people share with me that they are afraid to think about their teaching and ask questions because what if…what if they find out that they don’t know it all or that what they do know needs tweaking? And to this person, I say, “you’ll never be sure if you agree with or even know what you’re doing until you start questioning! Let’s start now!

But it’s easier…

But it’s easier to just follow blindly! Blind acceptance takes less energy, causes less resistance…
It does. It does.
And…it’s a set of locks and chains.

Free yourself!
Start thinking!
Ask questions!
Demand answers!

I celebrate your independent mind! I celebrate your critical and creative thinking!
Free your mind! (The rest will follow!)

Yes…you can ask me questions here or at the end of my group classes, in the middle of workshops/seminars and via email!

July 4, 2021 at 3:04 pm 15 comments

You Can Do It!

Do you ever feel like you’ll never get the exercise? Like you just want to give up? It can be The Teaser, The Roll Up, Rolling Like A Ball, The Swan Dive…anything… Do you say to yourself “I’ll never get it!!”??
And so…and so you will not ever get it.
That’s how it goes. If you tell yourself that you will not get it, you simply will not.

What can you say instead?

“I can do it! I will do it!”

Sure, sure, you tell that to your clients, but why don’t you tell that to yourself? Or…are you not even telling that to your clients?


1st: Modifications are brilliant and my prior blog is all about being open to modifications and making sure your clients and your studio live in the paradigm that modifications are important. They are not giving up! They are showing that you refuse to give up! And you use them to move toward the ideal version of an exercise.

What? Read that again: “and you use them to move toward the ideal version of an exercise.”

That’s right! While some people stay in the modification of an exercise forever, most people can get to the idea if you as the teacher encourage them to get there. Part of that is simply teaching: now, instead of doing The Half Roll Down, you are ready for The Roll Up. Or… Now, in The Teaser, instead of keeping your knees bent with your heels in line with your knees, lift your heels 3 inches higher.

Take your clients out of Modifications in one shot or bit by bit and get them closer to the Ideal.

And what about you?

And what about you? Are you taking yourself out of your modifications and into the ideal version of the exercise? A lot of my clients are Pilates teachers. I often find that they hold themselves back. Yup! That’s you guys! You say things like “I’ll never get The Roll Up” or “I’ll never get Knee Stretches” and things like that. In this past week, I’ve had nearly the same talk with multiple teachers and that is why I am writing this today:
Often, you just have to dig in and find your muscle and strength! It’s as though some people think the exercises are just going to happen on their own with limited effort. Noooo! You’ve got to make it happen! A cake doesn’t bake itself! Your laundry doesn’t wash itself! A painting doesn’t paint itself! You just dig in and make it happen!
Exercises don’t just happen!
You dig in! You don’t play nice! We’re not holding a baby here…we’re doing major exercise! Sometimes all it takes is working just a little bit harder! Make the exercise happen!

It’s not because your legs are too long that you have trouble with The Teaser.
It’s not because you are so tall that you can’t do The Star Preparation on the Reformer.
It’s not because your arms are so short that you can’t do The Long Stretch.
It’s not because your buttocks are so big that you can’t do The Roll Up or The Round on The Short Box.
It’s not because your knees hyper-extend that you can’t do a Back Support.


It’s about working harder and…and in the right way!

What about my injured or ailing clients?

Yes, for them, too! They dig in…buuuuut to the extent that is appropriate for their injury or ailment. Did my 76 year old client with diabetes, heart disease, emphysema and low back pain work hard? You bet! Buuuuuuut…it was appropriate for her! For anyone with no ailments, it would have seemed like a light bit of movement, but for her it was what helped her walk, breathe, climb her stairs, get out of a chair…get stronger!

And, always, you have to work around an ailment or injury. You’re not there to fix a back, knee, hip, breathing issue, etc… you’re there to provide an appropriate workout (which means physical challenge) working around the ailment.

And for you? With your injuries or ailments? Yes! You can work around your “stuff”! Remember, you have to be your best and favorite client! (Your Favorite Client – Remember that blog/post?)

But how do I know what’s too much?

When a client tells you of an injury or ailment, first, you discuss it together and simply work around that general area. Then…then you research what that injury or ailment is. You get more information. That will inform you to do and not to do. And…and you communicate with your client. Make sure that the culture of your teaching is about communication. That starts on Day 1.

In the very first session with every client I work with, whether this client has or has not done Pilates before, I say something akin to: Pilates is about no pain. It’s not no pain; no gain. It’s just no pain. So, let me know if something is concerning to you or if you feel anything painful.

Then you continue that line of communication throughout each session or class. That is the culture you can create!

Back to You!

Back to why i started writing this piece in the first place: Work harder to get the exercises that you desire. Do you skip them? Not any longer! Now…now you do the exercises that you find challenging 3 times a week! Consider your modifications and work through a modified version of the exercise for a couple of repetitions and then see if that helped you to the ideal.

And when you hear that little internal voice say “I can’t do it!” You give that voice a little talkin’ to! You say: I CAN DO IT!!!!

Do Not Give Up…!
Do not give up on yourself. Just work harder for yourself.

Still can’t do it?
Drop me a note and ask for assistance! Asking for assistance is not giving up! Just like modifications, asking for assistance is your refusal to give up! I’m at
And I’ll say: join my classes and do a session! We’ll work through whatever is going on and figure out how to make it happen. OR…or I’ll let you know why it won’t happen (your hip dysplasia or Harrington rod, etc…) Truth is that not every exercise is for every person. Let’s find out!

I believe in you!!!

Continuing Education Workshops
Teacher Training/Bridge Participation

May 14, 2021 at 3:46 pm Leave a comment

Group Classes: Permission to Omit or Modify Exercises

How do you set the tone for your group classes? How do you want your clients to “behave”? For me, it’s important to encourage my clients to sense ore learn to sense what they need and what they do not need. It’s important that I for my clients to know that they are not in competition with anyone else in the class or even themselves.

I was trained to teach Pilates by Romana Kryzanowska. Though she didn’t teach group classes to the general population, she did teach the apprentices in groups from time to time. She would always start our class with this phrase: If you come to an exercise that is not right for you today, leave it out and wait for the next exercise that is right for you.
That really stuck with me! It was smart and kind!
I make a bit of an addition to that to include the use of modifications.

I say the following: If you come to an exercise that is not right for you today, leave it out and wait for the next exercise that is right for you or do a modification if you know a modification. Just take good care of yourself!

(Here is a video of me sharing this information: )

This sets the tone of my class! I’m encouraging self-awareness, self-discovery, appropriate challenge, self-care! Are my classes difficult? Sure! Will my clients challenge themselves? Yes! Sometimes a client will pick an inappropriate choice and I will cue that client to do a different version that is either a modification or more challenging!

I think that it’s the permission to modify or do a less advanced version that is really important! It’s tempting for both teacher and client to think that harder or more advanced is better. Is it? If a client can’t do the ideal version of an exercise trying over and over again isn’t necessarily going to work. A modification of that exercise would be wise.

Modifications are intended to help a client develop the connections, strength, mobility, mindset to be able to do the ideal version. Modifications are really important! However, I think a lot of teachers and clients think that modifications are embarrassing. I strongly encourage you to flip the script on that if you think that modifications are embarrassing! In my classes, you’ll often hear me congratulate a client on picking the correct version of an exercise. It’s really important!

When I was an apprentice were modifications taught?
Were modifications being taught as a good thing?
I would say: No.
Sadly, the culture I grew up in in Pilates praised advanced variations and looked down upon modifications. Obviously…Obviously, I am working to change that in our world of Pilates!

Now, when it comes to modifications, we as teachers need to remember that a modification is meant to be a pathway to the ideal version of an exercise. It’s really tempting to keep a person modified when that person is really ready to progress to either the next more challenging modification or the actual full exercise. Remember: modify as little as is necessary for only as long as is necessary. Yes, sure, some people will do a modification for their entire Pilates lifetime, but let’s not make that a blanket assumption. Modify as little as is necessary for only as long as is necessary.

I encourage you to review your modifications of all exercises. See if you can consider a progression of your modifications. Consider an exercise from the ideal version to the least modified version and the most modified version. Here’s an example:
Rolling Like a Ball
Ideal: hold onto your ankles and do roll
Modification 1: hold behind your knees and do roll
Modification 2: hold onto your ankles and do not roll – balance only
Modification 3: hold behind your knees and do not roll – balance only
Modification 4: The Half Roll Down

I wonder how many modifications you can find for each exercise. When you provide a modification for a person or group, consider the least modified version possible.


One more thing to add…I often encourage my clients in a group class to even do a completely different exercise rather than omit and sit. Why sit on the mat or apparatus when your client can do something else! It’s not unusual to hear me say “if this exercise is inappropriate for you, start yourself on the Abdominal Series of Five!” or “Do five Push Ups rather than sit on the mat.”


Oh, yes…yes! This takes effort! Ohhhh, it does! Instructing doesn’t take effort. And…and it’s boring! Boring to you and your clients! But teaching…ooooooh! Teaching takes effort and is interesting to all! You think! You consider! You choose wisely! Ooooh, that’s the good stuff!

So: Permission to Modify or Omit!
You have permission! Share this permission with your clients!


Please feel free to leave a comment here not his subject!
Of course, if you have questions or concerns about anything Pilates, Biomechanics or Ergonomics, email me at info@theverticalworkshop

And I hope to see you soon:
Teacher Training:

May 4, 2021 at 6:11 pm 2 comments

For The Love of Teaching!

Do you remember how you felt when you first started teaching?
How do you feel about teaching now?
I’ll tell you about my experience:

As a young teacher, I moved to Los Angeles. I started teaching at multiple studios. One studio owner/teacher (I won’t name names…don’t try to ask me because this person is still alive and I hope has changed her tune)…amidst my utter excitement for teaching said to me something akin to “You won’t be excited about teaching for long. One day you’re gonna hate it.”


I remember being so sad that this person was trying to share her misery rather than encourage joy. As miserable as she was, was trying to make me hate what I was most passionate about! How sad. How terribly sad. What happened to her that she hated it so much…yet taught every day? I remember thinking that I would not let her influence me like this! That I would see what the future holds!

And…what do you think? Nearly 20 years later, what do you think? Do you think that I still love Pilates? That I love teaching Pilates? I SURE DO!!!! Oooooh, I love it so much!!! Those of you who have ever taken one single class with me know it! I hope you know it from my blog, my social media posts, my workshops and sessions! I LOVE TEACHING PILATES!!!

How is it possible to love something so much for so many years? Even when people have attacked me for questioning authority and bucking the norm. Even when times have been tough. Even with long hours. Especially consider this if maybe you do not feel the same way as I do. I think there are many reasons:

  1. I am curious!!!
    Oh, I’m so curious…about everything! I am always questioning! I wonder: why does this exercise work for some people and not for others? Why did her legs drop? Why did his shoulders roll forward? What is it about her that makes this so easy? Why does he struggle with that? Why are hamstrings tight? Why would I care about neutral pelvis or not?
    Ohhh…I wonder about everything!
    Curiosity will keep you engaged! Seeking answers to questions!
    I know that no matter how advanced I get in my teaching and my doing of Pilates, I will always have more questions and seek more answers! I’ll always delight in figuring those out!

    Do you have questions? Get answers!
    Have you forgotten to consider questions? Start allowing yourself to wonder!
  2. I love sharing!!!
    I love sharing with you, my Pilates community and my clients! I find it utterly wonderful to discover things (literally anything) that will help someone achieve a goal or understand!

    So, I study all of the time. I learn from the leaders in biomechanics, ergonomics, exercise medicine and more…and then I share!

    What do you like to learn about that relates to your work that will help you share?
  3. This stuff works!
    When your methodology works, as The Vertical Workshop does, it’s just amazing to see it help people achieve their physical goals! The personal empowerment, strength, physical ranges of motion that people develop are remarkable! Reduction of pain as people become my physically able is exciting!

    Do you find that your method works? If it doesn’t, how may I help you? Email me:
  4. It’s fun!
    When you really know what you’re doing and why…this stuff is fun to teach and do! When you don’t know what you’re doing or have an insecurity, it’s utterly miserable! But when you do know what you’re doing…? It’s a blast!

    If you don’t find it fun, find yourself a fun and effective teacher and see if you can rekindle your joy! (Yes, you can play with me! lists my workouts. lists my workshops.
  5. It’s multi-layered!
    Teaching Pilates uses every aspect of who I am! I have to think and use my brain. I get to connect with people and interact. I am “on stage” so I get the play of performance. People bring their fears and concerns; I get to bring out compassion. People share their joys; I get to share in their experiences. I feel I can use many sides of myself; so many tools!

More? Of course…there’s a lot more…but I won’t list it all…

Do you not feel the same way? I expect that many of you reading this do not. But it’s possible to love teaching as long as I have and perhaps for you, too! It is. A huge part of it comes from what the “personality” of your Pilates community is and what you feel you know or rather do not know…so that you can learn and fill in those gaps.

I grew up in a Pilates community that was very controlling and aggressive toward others who were not from the same direct community. It seemed like nearly everyone was miserable. I thought: I don’t want to be like them! So…I chose not to be. It took me a while. You can choose, too. You can. You can stay in that community and make changes from within. You can leave that community and be with a healthier group. You have choices.

I have worked with a lot of Pilates teachers who told me that they were ready to leave the business until they started working with me. Do you feel that way? Are you ready to leave? Sometimes leaving is the right choice. And sometimes you need to find the answer to: why don’t I like this any longer? What am I missing? How can I get assistance? You are always welcome to turn to me for assistance. I will always help. I’m at And maybe it’s not me you wish to turn to. Turn to someone else who you admire. Someone who seems to really love what she or he is doing. Maybe not even someone in Pilates. Sometimes it’s a person outside of your Pilates world that can help reignite your spark! Just asking the simple question “what do you think keeps you so passionate about your work?” to someone of a different occupation will help!

I am remarkably grateful to our Pilates community of teachers, students and clients! I am truly blessed and grateful! Let’s continue together!
Thank you all!

If you have any thoughts or concerns about your Pilates life, please reach out either in comments here, social media or email. Want more? Join a class, take a private, do a workshop or get a consultation with me. We have many ways to connect!

November 25, 2020 at 6:08 pm 2 comments

Home Office Set Up: How You Can Help Your Clients


You’ve seen this one before! (My apologies that I do not know who to attribute this great artwork to. If you do know, please inform me.)

Do you want to help your Pilates or exercise clients out by setting up a home office or their regular office or other workstation so that they are out of pain? Then this is the article for you! I’m glad you’re here!

I am writing this during the Covid-19 pandemic, but this will apply for after the pandemic, too. This is nearly 6 months into the pandemic’s alteration of life here in New York. While some people have returned back to work, many have not. Same thing around the world. That means a lot of home offices. Makeshift at first, these are at the dining room table or on the couch with the coffee table. Maybe there was already a home office, but it was for extra work not for today’s need: 8+ hours a day of real work. That was for a month, a few…but now people need longer-term solutions.

Any worker, one who spends the day at a desk on a computer or who kneels down bending over welding materials deserves to be physically supported by his or her environment: the tools, work schedule, protective equipment, even the emotional environment. However, generally productivity is favored over physical and emotional comfort; income over expenses. So, poor practices come into play as well as longer than desired hours. Physical and emotional pain are ignored or considered acceptable as “part of the job.” It turns out that a physically and emotionally healthy workplace actually increases efficiency, productivity and income and reduces time off, medical bills and worker’s compensation claims. So…feeling good wins!

What do our clients need to feel good at their work stations?
Do they need to be strong?
Do they need to be in perfect posture?
Do they need Pilates? HIIT? Yoga?
Do they need to sit upright on their sit bones?
Roll their shoulders back?
Hug the midline?

In fact, they don’t need anyfitness movement modality that you are trained in.
They need an Ergonomist.
An Occupational Ergonomist.
An Industrial Ergonomist.
They don’t need a fitness person.

Yes, of course, fitness is necessary for absolutely everyone and makes every aspect of life better. But…that’s not what your clients need to have a good work situation.

I know it sounds CRAZY! It did to me, too. Until…until I studied and became an Ergonomist. I have a Master’s of Science in both Ergonomics and Biomechanics. I am a Pilates Teacher of Teachers. Believe you me: I thought Pilates could do it all! Until I got educated!
Ergonomics is the study of human efficiency in the workplace.
While Pilates and other fitness modalities might have a lot to do with movement efficiency…it has nothing to do with human efficiency in the workplace. Not-A-Thing. Ergonomics is a genuine science with a lot of research to back up its claims. And like anything that is a genuine science…you can’t just learn about it from reading a few things  online or watching a few videos. Not even 20 videos. Nope. Not even the best videos. No.

Could or should a person teach Pilates after having been a Pilates client or having watching a bunch of videos? What about be personal trainer? Physical therapist? How about a dentist? surgeon? lawyer? You get where I’m going with this:
Send your clients to an Ergonomist.
Do not try to set up your clients’ workstations unless…unless you happen to be an Ergonomist. Do not advise on what postures or movements they should or should not do at work. Do not try to apply Pilates posture to work posture. It is actually not related.

Would it be better if all of my ergonomics clients pulled their lower abdominals in, “lifted” their lower backs and rolled their shoulders lightly up and back? Sure! Sure! However, it won’t keep them out of pain at work. Truth is: If they don’t do any of those marvelous internal actions, they should still stay out of pain at work…because an Ergonomist has set up their work situation properly.


What we do in Ergonomics has little to do with internal body mechanics and everything to do with external tools that support the movements and experience at the workstation…set up better mechanics and save physical energy from the outside. Indeed, if the inside and outside are both working together, then all the better. But…not everyone is actually going to “do the work” on the inside. That’s simply human nature. A lot of your clients don’t actually apply what you teach them to their work lives. They don’t do their exercises at home. They come, get a work out and then go back to doing as they did. And that is 100% fine because: Human. That’s what humans do. And even if they did the great internal actions…8 hours a day is unsustainable with just that.

And that is why there are Ergonomists.
Even the most fit person needs and ergonomically appropriate work station and work environment. That includes you.

So, why not study the charts online and just follow them for your clients? Because that’s not good enough. Do you really know what they mean? Do you know that most of what you see on those simple charts are not actually what a properly educated Ergonomist would do? Like a doctor or any scientist, an Ergonomist works with information that can’t be found in a simple online search. Do you know how to pick the right keyboard for a client? What about monitor? Chair?
Everyone thinks they know how to pick a chair.
You do not know how to pick a chair.
An Ergonomist does.

OK…have I made myself clear?
Stop trying to advise on something that you are not educated in. This goes for nutrition, supplementation, injury healing, etc…unless you’re actually trained in those areas. Be OK with advising only on subjects in which you are genuinely trained. I wrote this piece in 2016 that you might also find interesting (or redundant after reading this): Is There A Doctor In The House? Who you are and what you have to share is enough. Send your clients to other experts for other topics. I promise you, while I am educated in many things, there are many things you do not want me to do…like hip replacement surgery for one. I’ve watched hip replacement surgeries. Sure. Many of them. I totally get how it works. I have read articles, research studies and am a frickin’ biomechanist specializing in musculoskeletal disorders…like those that require hip replacements. Do you want me to do your hip replacement? No.
I feel very proud of what I can do…and am thrilled to send people to experts on everything else.

You do not know ergonomics.
You do not know how to set up a workstation.
Send your clients to an Ergonomist.

Yes…I’m available. I’ll do video ergonomic evaluations with your clients all over the world. I will do in person ones for those I can travel to. Occupational and Industrial. Home Office or Industrial Facilities. I will not take them on as Pilates or other fitness clients. They are your clients in that realm. Let me help with the Ergonomics.
Here is where you and they can get information:



August 30, 2020 at 5:01 pm Leave a comment

The One Thing You’re Missing in Your Socially Distant and Disinfected Studio


Photo thanks to The Washington Post

Are you starting to reopen your studio? Even just for privates? Are you missing one thing? Maybe. (Hint…it’s your canvas straps…)

I know you’re planning for the following:

Social Distancing
Privates Only

No semi-privates or group classes in person without clients and teachers being separated by 6 feet (1.83 meters)
Yes…teachers, too. I have seen photos of reconfigurations of studios where the clients will surely be separated, but teachers will not necessarily be separated. Teachers need to not cross over with each other. That means you must talk with each other and make sure you do not pass by each other within 6 feet (1.83 meters). Pilates teachers are not immune just because we are like superheroes! (and we are!)
[In fact, we don’t even know if superheroes are immune. The sample size is just too small. (There’s a little humor for you!)]

This also means: No hands-on cueing. None. Social distancing…

Wear Face Masks

Both clients and teachers!

But clients will be uncomfortable. 

Again, I say: Yup.

You might have to cue breath a bit more and slow the workout down if you are used to teach with vigor because the masks create resistance to breath and that makes breath more challenging in a slightly inappropriate manner.
The face masks will also keep the water droplets from breath close to the face and so, more facial sweating. Keep your studio cool or even cold to help your clients out. 

Yes, that will mean you will be very cold. And so I suggest: layers! 

(It always makes me giggle when teachers think it’s too cold in a studio. Put on some layers and you’ll be fine.)

Clean the apparatus A LOT
Every aspect of the apparatus must be cleaned. A LOT. And who cleans it? The client. Absolutely not the teacher. This is how I suggest cleaning when in normal times, but especially now: clients clean the apparatus. You are not being paid to clean. You are being paid to be the expert on teaching Pilates. Right? Right!

And when it comes to each client’s germs: they can wipe down. Everything.
Foot bars, mats, vertical poles, handles, balls, elastic bands…you name it.
What do you clean it with that won’t ruin your upholstery? Clorox Wipes, Lysol wipes/spray, etc., heavy duty spray that has been proven to kill this virus.
Will they ruin your upholstery? No.
Your upholstery is vinyl. Plastic. It’s not leather. Vinyl is remarkably non-porous and can handle these cleaners.
Then why have you heard that it will ruin it? Because people are silly and don’t examine what they are talking about. The vinyl that you have on your apparatus is the same that is used in hospitals. It’s non-porous and really durable. If it deteriorates from a heavy cleaner, it would be hardly noticeable shorter time than from using natural cleaners. Truly.

The greater issue is that people’s skin might be sensitive to it. But you know what? They can wear shirts or bring a towel to lie upon.
Clean with heavy duty cleaner!

Here is a good piece from Health Line:

And one from the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention):

If something cannot be wiped down and completely sanitized in the session, do not use it in the session.
And that brings me to the thing you didn’t do yet…

Canvas Straps
Canvas straps are just about the least sanitary thing in a Pilates studio. They are gross. My preference would be that each person has his or her own straps that she brings to each session or leaves in a cloth bag with her name on it hung on a peg on the wall. (Yes, I grew up at Drago’s where there were cloth bags with clients’ workout clothing in them. They left it there at the studio and it was laundered for them.) Since that’s not going to happen, we need an alternative:

Cover your canvas straps in vinyl. Make a vinyl sleeve. 
And make two sleeves to go on your leather 
straps or ropes/cords for Pull Straps, etc.

Which ones should you cover? Every single one you use:

Strap at the far end

Foot straps
Hand straps
Short box straps
Leather loops for Short Spine
Leather Straps for Pull Straps (just enough for a hand-hold)
Ropes/Cords (just enough for a hand-hold)

Full wrap the table strap (if you use it. I would recommend removing it.)
Foot straps on leg springs
Hand straps on arm springs
End strap
Trapeze strap
Fuzzies? I highly recommend skipping using these. Yes, feet can carry germs that include Covid-19 if a person steps in some aerosols that have the germs in it. Touch his mouth or nose and then feet. It happens more often than you’d think. 

(Am I over-reacting? Nope.)

Anything else that you have that is canvas.

It’s actually quite easy to do:

You’ll need:

  • Ruler or tape measure
  • Scissors
  • Vinyl (Naugahyde or Marine Vinyl in your favorite color or any vinyl you can get your hands on. Order from Naugahyde or Jo-Ann Fabrics or Amazon or anywhere else…)


Here are some links for Vinyl (they are USA links. Search “Vinyl by the yard” or “Vinyl by the meter”):

Velcro tape with adhesive backing “VELCRO Brand Sticky Back”

1 – Remove your straps on everything.

2 – Measure the length and width of each strap. Notate them on a piece of paper.

3 – Measure on a piece of vinyl the length of each strap and then double + 0.75”(or more) the width. (We want double the width since we’re going to wrap your strap with a sleeve of vinyl and that extra 0.75” so you can have good overlap with the velcro. I wrote 0.75”, but it’s really the width of your velcro strip. They are most often 0.75” wide.)

4 – Cut your vinyl

5 – Measure a length of Velcro to the length of the vinyl strip. Then cut it.

6 – Pull off the strip that covers one side of the velcro. Keep the Velcro sides attached to teach other. Do not pull them apart yet. Adhere it to the outside (vinyl part) of only one part of of the vinyl. Wrap your strap with the vinyl. Once wrapped, you can take the other part of the Velcro adhesive covering off and place your inside part of the vinyl on that and adhere it. Then it should cover perfectly.

Now, these can be wiped down, taken off, put back on if needed.

Do let the adhesive stay put for 24 hours before trying to open the velcro. In fact, you likely won’t need to open it up. You just clean clean clean that vinyl. You won’t need to uncover the canvas straps…for some time!

Here are some pictures from Kim Bergonzi’s work on this at Studio Lotus Forsyth outside of Atlanta, Georgia (USA) in the town of Cumming.

Reformer Foot StrapTower Foot StrapTower HandleIMG_0868

Stay safe and healthy!
This is a tricky time. Let’s keep supporting each other and our communities! Take good care of yourself in all ways.

Reach out to me with any questions about this or anything biomechanics, fitness or Pilates.

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May 8, 2020 at 11:44 am 12 comments

Getting Trendy with your Foot Bar?

Screen Shot 2019-12-20 at 6.06.39 PM

Are you following the trend these days in reformer foot bar style? Taking off your foot bar cover and padding? New trends are fun, right? All the cool kids are removing the foot bar covers. So you should, too, right?

But…it doesn’t really feel good does it?

It hurts.

But maybe it just hurts you because you’re not as strong as those other people.
Like when that instructor told you that you’ve gotta toughen up and that’s why it hurts.


Or maybe it hurts because it should hurt because you’re hurting yourself.
That foot bar should be padded.

Ohhhhh, here comes Shari…

Put that foot bar cover, with its padding, back on.

Here’s why…

You wouldn’t put your weight of your body down on a sharp piece of metal would you? Of course not. That would hurt! So, why would you put your hands or feet on a that bare foot bar? It’s a curved piece of metal. Not sharp? Well…each moment along that curve is actually a straight line. Sharp as a knife. When you put your weight on that metal bar, the bar does not adjust to the pressure. It stays stiff and actually quite sharp right into your hands and feet. The weight/force is not distributed to a broad surface area. It is a very direct line of metal into you.

No big deal?
Big deal…

It’s a big deal because that sharp edge of the foot bar is pressing into some important parts of your body: the fatty pads of your hands and feet. Those pads are essential for protecting even more important parts of your body: the nerves and blood vessels of your hands and feet. When pressed upon, the fatty pads find their way into the crevices between the little bones of your hands and feet and help your nerves and blood vessels from getting improperly compressed during this pressure. The fat literally moves like packing peanuts into the crevices. This is awesome protection! And the pads distribute the force/pressure of anything that you’re holding onto or standing upon to a wider surface area. Force distribution. This force distribution is great so you don’t have direct pressure that can cause damage. There’s not a lot of meat on the bone in your hands and feet; not a lot of muscle. The major muscles of your hands and feet are in your forearm and lower leg, respectively. Muscles are great for moving bones/joints, but also for distributing forces and pressure which protect bones and other structures. In areas that there is not a lot of muscle we are exposed to painful blows like our knee caps and elbows. Our feet bear a lot of pressure and force with each step we take. Our fat pads really save the day! However, our hands are not meant to bear full body weight or even the type of pressure we put on them in Pilates on the foot bars. Our fat pads are even quite minimal in the hands. We’re not expected to face full body pressure on them.

How does this relate to that foot bar? Well, uncovered you are now pressing into that narrowest line of metal and that is pressing directly into the fat pads that are desperately trying to protect your blood vessels and nerves. Why would we challenge the fatty pads, blood vessels and nerves like that? It’s rather unreasonable to put you body weight and extra pressure/force (like when you press into the foot bar against springs…as in every exercise)… It’s rather unreasonable to ask this of your fatty pads. To expect that they can healthily sustain that force/pressure is preposterous.

And, goodness! Those fatty pads in our hands and feet thin out a lot as we age. And aren’t the majority of your clients aging? Well…all of them are, of course. But aren’t most of your clients who can afford privates and semi-privates of a “certain age” and they are experiencing decreased fatty pads? So, you’re putting them at increased risk for impingement of blood vessels and nerves. Oh…and that client might be you! (You are your favorite client, I should hope.)

What should you do? You want to protect your fatty pads, blood vessels and nerves! You want to protect your clients!

You put that darned padded foot bar cover back on.
Get it out of the closet and put that thing back on!
When you have that cover on with some padding under it, it takes the surface you’re pressing on from being a thin line of metal into a much broader surface! That foam padding distributes the forces to a broader surface area. Yes, yes! You want this! Your hands and feet will thank you!

Now, some foot bar padding is outrageously soft. It’s true. That can cause issues, too, because it’s too cushy a surface does not provide enough stability and feedback. We tend to hyper-extend in our wrists and more. But our major manufacturers have done well to provide appropriate foam under that foot bar cover. If you is too cushy…go get a piece of thinner padding from your local fabric store. Cut it up, stick it on and lay that foot bar cover over it. Done!

Ooh! And speaking of foot bar covers…you want that, too! You do! That cover generally has a bit of texture to it. That increases the coefficient of friction…meaning that it makes it less slippery! So you stay on and don’t have to expend improper energy trying to hold onto the bar! (Remember, if you’re wearing socks, they need to be sticky socks or put a thin sticky pad under your feet. Best if you don’t wear socks. Your feet have their own texture that helps keep you from sliding. Just clean all surfaces feet were on. Of course.)

Just a reminder, alongside being a Pilates Teacher of Teachers, I’m a biomechanist and ergonomist. So, what I share is not about preference. It’s about evidence. In ergonomics, we design and choose hand tools, shoes and flooring that are cushioned or lightly padded and made of compressible materials to manage this exact issue. As an ergonomist, if I came into a Pilates studio and looked at our tools, our apparatus, I would make several alterations, indeed. Indeed. But one I would keep would be that covered, padded foot bar.


Clavert P, Dosch J-C, Wolfram-Gabel  R, Kahn J-L. New findings on intermetacarpal fat pads: anatomy and imaging. Surg Radiol Anat (2006) 28: 351–354

Ramadan SU, Tunçbilek I, Özeri Z, Kaçar M, Gökharman D, Koşar P, Koşar U.Is There A Correlation Between the Grip Strength and the Interosseous Muscles/Intermetacarpal Fat Pads of the Hand?: An Ultrasonographic Study. Balkan Med J 2011; 28: 125-128

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December 20, 2019 at 6:10 pm 2 comments

Hip Flexor Pain: Where Do You Stand?

Standing into the wind modified photo

Where do you stand?

Do you have pain when you pull your leg or legs deeply into your chest? A little hip flexor tendinitis? It seems that a lot of Pilates teachers do. I first realized this many years ago when nearly every teacher told me she was experiencing the same thing I was…and that her colleagues were also expressing the same issue. Well, surprise of all surprises, back then I did a little digging and found out what it is and how to get rid of it…and I hope I can help you, too.

When I was struggling with this, I went to a new-for-me chiropractor who does soft-tissue manipulations. The first thing she asked me to do was stand up so she could see my posture and she said: Why do you lean forward so much at your ankles?


There it is!

That’s all it took.

And so I went researching to understand where we are supposed to stand; and if it is where we are taught in Pilates.

Of course, I’m writing this because the answer is: it’s different from what we learn and teach in Pilates.

The Difference

OK, clearly, I was “leaning into the wind” like a good Pilates teacher. My weight forward so that I can lift my heels up. Listing forward like a bird about to take flight… Like the dancer that I am about to leap across the stage…


Except I am not a bird about to take flight.

And I am standing still, not about to leap across the stage.


When standing still, we’re meant to stand with most of our weight over our ankles/ball-of-heels. We’re not meant to be listing forward. Not at all. That’s when we are about to move. Not when we are stable.

How much are we meant to be back over our ankles and ball-of-heel?
Approximately 60% of our weight should be back over our ankles/ball-of-heel.
A distribution akin to this:
60% – Heel (ball of heel/ankle)
8% – Mid-foot
28% – Forefoot (ball of foot)
4% – Toes

Yes…only 4% Toes and only 28% on the ball of our feet.
60% over your heel/ball of heel

Says who? Says the biomechanist. Nordin and Frankel wrote the great book: Basic Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System and Cavanaugh and Rodgers wrote the kickin’ paper (I’m nothing if not a good geeky researcher. I’m a blast at parties…) The Arch Index: A Useful Measure From Footprints. (J Biomech. 1987). Not to mention the many other research papers on the subject. Check out this graphic. See the load distribution? (The toes are at the bottom/front of the illustration and the heel is at the top/back)

Screen Shot 2019-08-03 at 11.58.30 AM

Standing load distribution on the foot. Copied from Nordin and Frankel’s Basic Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System.

And see this one which is about peak pressure at the forefoot (measured in KPa –  KiloPascals)

Screen Shot 2019-08-03 at 12.03.44 PM

Standing peak pressure on the foot. Copied from Nordin and Frankel’s Basic Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System.

I know…I know…it feels really groovy to lean forward into the wind. You feel your abdominals more! I know! But…you are stressing your calves (gastrocnemius and soleus) as they are desperately trying to pull you back upright over your ankles/ball-of-heel and your quadriceps that are desperately trying to make you not crumble to the floor.

Also…you’re not really getting the appropriate activation of your hamstrings, gluteals and spinal extensors. These are essential to be working to keep you upright. You don’t have to squeeze them…they should just work for you because you’ve created an environment in which they engage on their own.

What’s it look like?



Sacrilegious? Not at all.

Also…I know that it feels sacrilegious to do something that your favorite teacher or teacher trainer told you is correct. I know. However, it’s OK to realize that they are very well-meaning just not educated in this realm. Most amazing Pilates instructors and teachers are educated on the human body by other Pilates people or dancers. If those people are not truly educated in biomechanics, then we often learn improper biomechanic actions. So…when we learn more, then we must adjust. No shame. Adapt and adjust and study more. And: references and credentials matter.

And who’s this lady to say so? I’m a biomechanist and ergonomist as well as a Pilates Teacher of Teachers. I became a research scientist because I wasn’t getting answers in the Pilates world. As I was getting education, it conflicted with what I was learning in Pilates. Our exercises are often super…but what we do inside and around them are often an issue.

What now?

With that, what do you do now that you’re used to leaning forward? How do you correct this?

1 –  Just rock back a bit in standing exercises. 

Put your weight more over the entire ball of your heel.

You should feel that there no way that you can lift your heels. And…there is no way you could lift both balls of your feet at the same time. Sure, you could lift your toes on both feet. You’ll also find that you could lift the ball of one foot, but not both at the same time.

Which exercises:

Standing Magic Circle/Power Ring – legs and arms

Arm Weight Series
Standing Breathing
Standing Chest Expansion
Standing Arm Circles at the end of so many exercises
Any standing exercise.
Well….not Standing Arm Springs. In Standing Arm Springs, we lean forward to play with our balance and to get more tension on the springs.
2 –  Stand over your ankles/ball-of-heel whenever you are standing still.

Are you listing forward when you teach? When you brush your teeth?
get back over your ankles/ball-of-heel just like I’m advising above.

3 – Self-Myofascial Release

Until your sore tendons normalize, one to two times a day on a 6 inch (15.25 cm) diameter foam roller massage/“roll out” your quadriceps with special focus on your rectus femoris (both knee and hip extensor). It’s that guy that is likely inflamed. That’s who/what you’re feeling when you pull your leg into your chest and it hurts. So, get all the way up into the crease of your hip. Keep moving focusing on the stroke upward from just above your knee (do not roll over your knee cap) up to the crease of your hip. Remember that your quadriceps are four (4) muscles. So you have to roll the inner/medial pat of the front of your leg, the center and the side/lateral front of your leg.
Take only 30-60 seconds each leg. Don’t try to destroy your muscles. Just imagine that your soft tissue is what it is: fluid filled. Each cell and each tubule of fascia is full of fluid. So…we need to help move the fluid through congested areas of adhesions.

That’s it.
That’s it?

Sometimes feeling better is as simple as that.

We’re not changing your exercises. We’re just working appropriate biomechanics.

Drop me a comment and I will answer you!
Something personal?
Email me at

Cavanaugh PR, Rodgers MM, Iiboshi A. Pressure distribution under symptom-free feet during barefoot standing. Foot Ankle. 1987 Apr;7(5):262-76.

Nordin M, Frankel VH. Basic Biomechanics of the Musculoskeletal System. 4e. Wolters Kluwer / Lippincott Williams & Wilkins. Baltimore and Philadelphia. 2012.

Ribeiro AP, Sacco ICN, Dinato RC, João SMA. Relationships between static foot alignment and dynamic plantar loads in runners with acute and chronic stages of plantar fasciitis: a cross-sectional study. Braz J Phys Ther. 2016 Jan-Feb; 20(1):87-95 

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August 5, 2019 at 4:57 pm 12 comments

The Difficult Client…

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Who is your least favorite client?
That difficult client.
Take a moment…think…

Oh, what? You don’t need a moment? He or she just pops up immediately with no delay?
Right! I know!!!! Our least favorite clients are such a bummer and they don’t even leave our minds! What is wrong with them? They are so difficult!

He is so bossy!
She doesn’t even listen to me!
I have to repeat the same thing over and over again and he still doesn’t do it right!
She complains all of the time…why does she even come?
I hate working with him!
I hate working with her!
Can I fire him?
Can I get rid of her?

Am I right…or am I right?

Well, here it comes…

If you’ve read my articles or worked with me, you pretty much know what I’m about to say, but it’s time to listen up more than before: not every client is going to be your favorite. (Remember the piece: Your Favorite Client ?) You’re very fortunate that you adore most of your clients and they adore you. But that one or some who trouble you..who you dread each session…let’s take a look at what’s really happening here. 

First, I hear you! I do.
I really hear you!
I have had clients who the mere thought of ruined my day.
But I learned that I had to “get over” that because running a business means that sometimes you’re not going to like everyone you work with.

I had to really look into myself to see why I was disliking this person so much. Or why this person had such power over me. Why I gave myself over to this disdain and why I even cared.

There are many reasons why we get caught up in the grief of the difficult client. Often, it’s our expectations and our ability or lack to command our sessions/classes.

What are your expectations for your clients? For your sessions? Let’s be reasonable.  Are they such that a client who rushes exercises is so troubling? Or a client who can’t make the connections you wish her to make really makes you so frustrated? That bossy client that ruins your day… Why does this person have so much control over you? Why have you given your control to her?

This is what we have to discover.

It does come down to expectations.

What are you expecting from a session? From your client? I believe our goals for our clients is helping them to achieve their own reasonable physical goals and our goals for them. Our goals for them usually revolve around helping them “balance their bodies.” That’s it.

You simply cannot do the work for them. They have to be self-motivated. So, when you are suffering over their inability to make connections or be as coordinated as you’d like…it’s time to release that. You do your best to give good verbal and hands-on cues without actually moving your client in the exercise like a doll. You do your best to give images. And then your client does his or her best. That’s all. And while your clients’ best is not necessarily your desire…not meeting your expectations…it’s your expectations that must change.

That’s key: your expectations must change. Strive for the most, of course, the most that is available for this client on this day in this situation. When you find yourself frustrated, you are likely frustrated because of your inappropriate expectations for your client.

Yes, it’s true. It’s annoying, I know…and true.

Check your expectations that you have for your clients. 

Check your expectations of yourself in a session…on what you are really able to achieve.
It’s OK for your client to do less than you want, but as much as she can with her drive. Not your drive. Her drive.

It’s OK for your client to take years to make a connection that you wish that he would make in a few weeks. It’s OK. It’s his abilities. Not yours. His.

Again, you work hard. You strive for your clients, but you’ve got to check on your expectations and consider if they are reasonable for that client what is in front of you showing who he or she is relative to this material.


Command With Kindness
Now, also consider that your bossy, pushy, client who drives you nuts… Why is he or she able to run the show? Have you genuinely sought to “command the session with kindness?” Have you let her take over the session? Have you given him the position of control?

It’s your responsibility to command a session with kindness. What I mean by that is that you’ve got to be the one in charge of the session. Not with an iron fist (usually the sign of insecurity and immaturity), but with kindness. Strength with understanding and the knowledge to back up what you’re doing and why.
And maturity.
Being able to have a straightforward and mature conversation with a client is important: Mike, you are a very hard worker and have great potential to achieve your goals, but when you tell me what to do in the session, you diminish your opportunities. I understand that you are usually in charge of everything, your business, your family, but here, in the studio, during our sessions, I am in charge of making sure you get what you need relative to Pilates.

And then…you go into the next exercise…
The Short Box! (Or whatever it is!)

Maybe your client is rushing you and the session goes at your client’s rushed pace rather than the one you intended. Or your client does everything slow and you want it to be faster. Or your client doesn’t even seem to listen to you. Again, a mature conversation where you command with kindness: Melinda, all people have their natural tempos/speeds of movement, but in Pilates we have well-defined rhythms and tempos of each exercise. Listen carefully to my voice and follow it so that you really can achieve your physical goals.

And then…then you’d better be real clear about your rhythm and tempos
(Need a great assist here? Check out my The Music of Pilates…it’s the rhythms and tempos of Joseph PIlates exercises and why each is as they are in ways you can learn and practice and get PMA CECs! Click here: The Music of Pilates
Read this piece: The Best Pilates Teaching Tool)

It’s tempting to stay away from straightforward conversations that would really just make life easier. You think you’re being kind by tip-toeing around. But instead you’re truly the one causing the issue because you’re not having the necessary conversation. Command with kindness.

Oh, I know! I know…it’s tricky! 

And it’s not.

Once you get used to commanding your sessions with kindness, then it’s easy! You’ll feel great and so will your client!


Check on your expectations.
Check on your ability to be in charge of the session; command with kindness.

screen shot 2019-01-26 at 12.40.37 pm

The Abusive Client
When you do these things, then nearly no one is your least favorite client. I say nearly no one, because sometimes we actually have abusive clients. For them, again, we need to have a mature conversation. If the result is a good one with positive change, then continue on. If the result is that nothing changes and your client remains abusive, then you talk with the manager or owner of the studio and discuss how to get that person off of your schedule. Mature conversations.  At my own studio, I had a client who would curse at me. I stopped the session and said “it is not appropriate to curse at me because you are frustrated with yourself. Either you stop this and assign your frustration to the right person or we are done here.”
She apologized and remained my 3 time a week, loyal, loving client thereafter!

Have I had times when it hasn’t gone so well? Sure.

I had a client who was always creepy. He checked me and my other studio teachers out in just the wrong way. Still, he was a friend of a great client, so I thought all was well. Just before I got the strength to have the mature conversation (I wasn’t good at those at that time), unprovoked, he grabbed me during a session and tried to kiss me. Well…that ended with him being kicked out and warned never to return.
A case of commanding with kindness to myself and super save-myself-protection!
He was my least favorite client and I got rid of him.


You Deserve To Feel Good
All in all, take a look at the situation. See what part in it you play. Consider your role in this. I know that, for myself, I want each hour that I teach to be a great hour for me, not just a great hour for my client. And our clients feel how we feel about them. You’re not able to hide it so well! We are sentient beings! So, take the time to come to terms with why you dislike this client so much. You deserve it!

Do you want to talk out a challenging situation? Give me a holler! I am always available for a consultation! Just email me at and we can set up a consultation session!

****Please reach out with questions, comments, concerns! The comment section is perfect for that, but if you have something more personal to discuss, always just email me at

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January 26, 2019 at 12:51 pm 11 comments

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